A Dangerous Mission
by Dustin Riley
Summary: The Gundam pilots are forced into labor... at the local shopping mall.


Disclaimers: (sung to the tune of Deck the Halls)  
I own the entire storyline,  
Fa la la la la, la la la la  
But Gundam Wing isn't mine  
Fa la la la la, la la la la  
So please dont sue me, please don't sue  
Fa la la, la la la, la la la  
If you sue you'll make me blue  
Fa la la la la, la la la la  
  
(In addition, Auntie Anne is probably a trademark of, well, Auntie Anne. They didn't pay me to plug their pretzels. If they did, I'd take it in Orignal pretzels, with lots of butter and cream cheese... mmm... nummy!)  
  
--------------------------  
  
"Guys," Trowa came barging in the living room of the posh L4 abode of the famed Gundam Wing boys. "There's a major problem."  
  
"Oh no, don't tell me Oz is at it AGAIN! Even AFTER it's been disbanded?" Wufei asked.  
  
"Even worse," Trowa replied.  
  
"Quatre's PREGNANT?!" Duo asked, a look of disbelief across his face. Heero simply gave Duo a look of death that rivaled none other.  
  
"No, we're going to have to get a job," Trowa sighed. "Quatre and I just looked at our bank statements, and we aren't going to be able to afford anything this year for the holidays if we don't get some extra money!"  
  
"Hn," Heero replied. "I couldn't find anything to do other than mercenary work."  
  
"And that's not happening again. I remember the last time you tried that. And I don't even want to talk about it," Duo said.  
  
"Hey! I've got it! It's the perfect job!" Quatre yelled, running into the room. In one hand, he held a full-page ad in the newspaper. Quatre laid the ad on the coffee table, as Wufei read aloud,  
  
"Now Hiring at the L4 Mall! All positions, full and part time! Excellent benefits and working environment! NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY! Call today!"  
  
"I'm not so sure," Wufei said warily. "Do you think they would hire us?"  
  
"I don't see why they wouldn't," Quatre said. "It's worth a shot, and isn't it better than flipping burgers? I'm sure we can all find the job that suits us best!"  
  
Reluctantly, our five brave heroes climb into the mid-size coupe (well, you didn't think they'd take a Gundam, did you?!) and drove to the L4 mall, looking for employment. Little did they know that a simple job would be more challenging than any enemy they've ever faced.  
  
Upon reaching the mall, the group timidly approached the customer service counter, looking very similar to the group of travelers from The Wizard of Oz. The clerk looked extremely frazzled, after dealing with a group of not-so-friendly customers.  
  
"Can I help you?" the clerk said.  
  
"Um, well..." Quatre started, "we, uh, saw your ad in the paper, and, uh, we'd like to apply," he stammered.  
  
"Oh. I thought it was going to be something difficult," the clerk commented. "Here." She handed each pilot a brief application on a clipboard.. "You can sit over there and fill them out." She pointed to a fluffy couch and a few chairs designed to help weary shoppers rest their bones.  
  
After a few minutes, the clerk received the applications back, and looked them over briefly. "Hmm... yes... oh! that's good... I think you five should stay around. I'm sure the manager will want to interview all of you! It's so hard to find good help these days--"  
  
The phone rang. "Customer service counter? Yes? What do you MEAN you don't know what the 'total' button does?"  
  
Several minutes, and a few Auntie Anne(tm) pretzels later, an older gentleman, with white hair and glasses nearly an inch thick, came to meet the boys. "My name is Mr. Elliott," he introduced. "I'm the manager. Basically, there is no interview process, but we are going to give you this 200-question exam to see where you would best fit in the mall."  
  
The quintet of applicants did a collective face-vault.  
  
Mr. Elliott led the young men to the personnell department, where each was outfitted with a thick test booklet, an answer sheet, and a number 2 pencil.  
  
"Now remember, fill in the circles completely, and no peeking... Just kidding!" Mr. Elliott chuckled as he left the five on their own to complete the exam.  
  
Several minutes of silence ensued, until Trowa read a question out aloud: "If a customer is rude to you and you are getting frustrated, what should you do? A, be rude back; B, apologize and get the manager; C, simply walk away; or D, threaten the customer with physical harm. What do you guys think?"  
  
All the boys chose B, except for Heero.  
  
"It's D," Heero said. "Especially if I needed to kill them anyways."  
  
Everyone sweatdropped.  
  
A few hours later, Mr. Elliott returned to collect the tests. "Very good. I'll put these through the computer, and that will be where you'll work at." The manager collected the tests and went back to his office.  
  
"Hn," Heero grunted. "Just as long as I don't have to be nice to anyone." 


End file.
